There are certain books that change our lives for the better. Books that shift our perspective about ourselves or about others. For me, in order, it is The BFG by Roald Dahl, Out of my Mind by Sharon M. Draper, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Beloved by Toni Morrison… and now, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler.

I realize this is a dramatic introduction but when I tell you this book has completely shifted how I view myself in the best way possible, I mean it. Which is why I urge every perfectionist to drop what you are doing and buy a copy of this book (after you read my review, of course).

Summary:

The main thesis of this book is encapsulated perfectly in the cover flap of the book: “What if being a perfectionist wasn’t a flaw to overcome, but a gift to embrace?”

In the almost 300 pages that follow, Morgan Schafler argues that being a perfectionist isn’t a condition to be cured but rather a source of strength and power. The book is divided into nine chapters, with a quiz to tell you what kind of perfectionist you are. What I found most helpful about this book was the genuine advice Morgan Schafler gave for living with perfectionism. The last half of the book is filled with practical strategies and habits for thriving.

Review:

I appreciated how thoroughly Morgan Schafler wrote about perfectionism and how it impacts women. From the distinction between different kinds of perfectionism to the connections she makes between the pathologizing of perfectionism in women as a negative trait, this book is a monumental shift in books about perfectionism.

In my life, I never understood why I couldn’t be content with being “good enough” or average. In the past, I tried to teach myself to be content with okay. But Morgan Schafler points out that trying to be okay with okay does more harm than good for perfectionists. In fact, treating my desire for excellence like a disease made me feel even worse about myself. Instead, that voice urging me to do more, be more, to want more, can be channeled in healthy and productive ways.

Morgan Schafler writes about this subject with knowledge, wit, compassion, and practical advice. I can see myself reading this book repeatedly over the years, as it has shifted how I view my past and myself. If you have ever struggled with feelings of perfectionism, of wishing you could be okay with average, or that your desires and goals are “too much,” then you need this book.

Rating: 10/10